On certain subjects, expectation can be a positive thing. Sometimes expectation can help you reach goals, look forward to something, build your excitement and get you going.
However, today, I want to talk with you about expectations of other people.
Many years ago, I discovered that disappointment is tied deeply to expectation, and never more so and never more disappointing than when it's tied to our expectations regarding someone else's actions.
Most people probably never give it much of a thought as to why they feel disappointed by something or someone; but if you look closely, you'll find that the reason there is disappointment is because you expected a different outcome or for someone to behave differently than they did.
Our expectations of other people typically come from how we believe they should think and act. So when they fail to "live as we think they should or do as we think they should," we are disappointed.
But let me ask you this.
Are they acting different than they've always acted? Probably not. It's just that we wanted and expected them to do differently. So really, the disappointment isn't that they've acted any differently. It's that we didn't get what we wanted so the disappointment is something we personally own.
You'll probably find too that they don't feel the same way about how they acted as you do. Why is that, you may ask? Because their standard and expectation,that they have for themselves, isn't the same as the one you have for them.
There was a great line in a movie called The Answer Man. In it, Lauren Graham, playing a character named Elizabeth tells the main character, Arlen Faber (played by Jeff Daniels) her three rules of life.
"Now I only have three rules: don't take advice from someone you wouldn't trade places with, try not to do something you can't take back, and something is what it is and it's not something else."
See, though they are all really great rules, the last one is particularly telling; something is what it is and it's not something else.
So the next time someone disappoints you, take a minute and look to see if they are really acting different than they've always acted or are they acting as they always have (something is what it is) but you want them to be something else (and it's not something else). Chances are, you'll find that they are who they are, acting the same as they always have and they are not someone else (namely you) acting the way you think they should.
Love them (or at least try to) where they "are." You can hope for something better for them or that they'll do something else, but release them from that expectation and by doing so, you'll release yourself too from the sense of disappointment.
Every person was given a life to live. The plan is, you've got yours and they've got theirs. All through our times here, those will interconnect with so many other people and you will probably find that if you concentrate on living your own, in the happiest way you can, if you drop your sense of expectation about who someone should be or what will happen, and just reach for a desire for joy and happiness for them and for you, you'll feel so much better.
I hope you'll have a Happy New Year with more joy, more fulfillment, more prosperity and more freedom to be who you are, to do what you want and to allow others to do the same.
However, today, I want to talk with you about expectations of other people.
Many years ago, I discovered that disappointment is tied deeply to expectation, and never more so and never more disappointing than when it's tied to our expectations regarding someone else's actions.
Most people probably never give it much of a thought as to why they feel disappointed by something or someone; but if you look closely, you'll find that the reason there is disappointment is because you expected a different outcome or for someone to behave differently than they did.
Our expectations of other people typically come from how we believe they should think and act. So when they fail to "live as we think they should or do as we think they should," we are disappointed.
But let me ask you this.
Are they acting different than they've always acted? Probably not. It's just that we wanted and expected them to do differently. So really, the disappointment isn't that they've acted any differently. It's that we didn't get what we wanted so the disappointment is something we personally own.
You'll probably find too that they don't feel the same way about how they acted as you do. Why is that, you may ask? Because their standard and expectation,that they have for themselves, isn't the same as the one you have for them.
There was a great line in a movie called The Answer Man. In it, Lauren Graham, playing a character named Elizabeth tells the main character, Arlen Faber (played by Jeff Daniels) her three rules of life.
"Now I only have three rules: don't take advice from someone you wouldn't trade places with, try not to do something you can't take back, and something is what it is and it's not something else."
See, though they are all really great rules, the last one is particularly telling; something is what it is and it's not something else.
So the next time someone disappoints you, take a minute and look to see if they are really acting different than they've always acted or are they acting as they always have (something is what it is) but you want them to be something else (and it's not something else). Chances are, you'll find that they are who they are, acting the same as they always have and they are not someone else (namely you) acting the way you think they should.
Love them (or at least try to) where they "are." You can hope for something better for them or that they'll do something else, but release them from that expectation and by doing so, you'll release yourself too from the sense of disappointment.
Every person was given a life to live. The plan is, you've got yours and they've got theirs. All through our times here, those will interconnect with so many other people and you will probably find that if you concentrate on living your own, in the happiest way you can, if you drop your sense of expectation about who someone should be or what will happen, and just reach for a desire for joy and happiness for them and for you, you'll feel so much better.
I hope you'll have a Happy New Year with more joy, more fulfillment, more prosperity and more freedom to be who you are, to do what you want and to allow others to do the same.