The world has changed and a lot of it is not for the better. We move at a faster pace. We have greater exposure to information. We have ways that connect more people together and still, those same tools can drive us apart.
One of those, of course, is social media and right now, it’s a hotbed of emotions and drama fueled by politics, aggression and most importantly, access to information.
I’ve had this conversation with quite a few friends and have come to the conclusion that, despite what many have told us, Facebook isn’t bad when you see it for the tool that it is and appreciate it for just that.
It’s a tool.
Once a way to simply connect us with “real life” friends and family, it has exploded into a tumultuous, daily addiction that has torn more than one family apart and driven more friendships to the brink and even over the edge. But is it Facebook’s doing? No. It’s our own.
I’m not talking about the “invasion of privacy” issues or breaches of data. I’m talking about what Facebook has ACTUALLY done and that is, it has given us in depth snapshots of what drives people, who they really are at their core and what they stand for.
Most people think that the issue today with Facebook is politics. They would like to return to a time when people shared cat memes or pictures of their kids or the great adventure surrounding what they ate that day.
But Facebook isn’t that any more. It’s evolved into a massive network that not only connects you with friends and family around the globe but also puts you in touch with people, their daily lives and cultures around the globe. Whether it’s through news sites, groups or simply individual contact, we have access to a world of information. Sometimes that information is wonderful and soul moving and other times, it can crush your will to live.
And it is here that the rubber meets the road when it comes to social media and “politics,” because it isn’t really politics that has people upset. It’s much deeper than that. It’s who people are at the core of their being. It’s what they stand for, how they treat others and what they believe. Facebook took an experience that would take a good portion of a lifetime to discover and accelerated it beyond anything we probably could have imagined.
In days gone by, it would take a long time to get to know someone. Friendships would form, time would be spent with one another and then that friendship would either continue to grow or it would wane and dissolve. We worked with one another, side by side, and many times, we never got to know one another except through social functions and so the conversations remained light, fairly shallow and never too soul-searching. That was reserved for those closest to you and would take years of time spent in intimate settings (many times over drinks) where you could bear your soul and chip away at the walls that we naturally surround ourselves with.
Now that happens in a fraction of the time on social media. The moment someone has access to your page, they have access to many of the moments that might have previously been reserved for those closest to you; things that before, you may have been apprehensive to share. It only takes a moment for someone to essentially scroll through your life and see who you are at the core of your being and what things matter to you, deeply matter to you; what you like, what you hate, what inspires you, what drives you up the wall, what you’ll tolerate, what you absolutely can’t tolerate, who shares those sentiments with you, what those friends are like and other infinite pieces of who you really are.
And this is where politics comes in. Politics isn’t about the parties AT ALL.
Politics is about what issues matter to you, what things you are willing to overlook, what you stand for unequivocally, who represents those issues for you in our democracy but essentially, it’s about who you are once you get past the surface. And this is when relationships tend to change.
While you can share “surface” stories of your life with anyone and keep your walls in tact, what issues you feel passionate about expose a great deal about your character and sometimes that’s hard to reconcile with considering to continue a friendship/family relationship.
It’s not that it’s bad. It’s a natural attrition but the speed by which it happens these days is what sends us reeling when we “unfriend” or become “unfriended” based on these deeply felt and openly relayed values. When you multiply that by hundreds, if not thousands of “friends” you would otherwise not have in the normal course of a lifetime, it can feel like a daily trainwreck of emotions and dramas playing out right before our eyes.
Time has emboldened us move swiftly and cut through the clatter; ending relationships with literally the click of a button. While some see it as divisive and polarizing, it really isn’t.
We are all different in our own ways. We usually have more things that unite us than divide us yet sometimes that just isn’t enough. We used to only get this clarity of people’s inner workings when we shared our lives with them; our spouses, children and best friends used to be the only ones privy to this degree of sharing and openness. And even in those instances, many times, those relationships would devolve, be strained, and erode to the point where we would have to make decisions whether to keep even those closest to us in our lives or let them go. The more we learn, the more we access. We either grow or stagnate depending on who we are inside. That’s the way all our intimate relationships have proceeded. It’s not new, it’s just that now there is a new way that it’s being done.
So don’t blame Facebook, other social media or politics. You just are who you are. Deep down, below the shallow surface, you are the issues you stand for.
Some people will like it; others won’t but at the end of the day, hopefully, you’ll be more in touch with who you are by the relationships, comments and interactions you have using the tools available to you.
Don’t be afraid to scratch the surface and dig deep. The world is a big place with both wonderful and not-so-wonderful people in it. It’s only when you start to dig deep that you discover where the best treasures can be found. You might hit a rock or two along the way, some more easier to move past or discard than others, but it’s the digging that makes you stronger. Don’t be afraid to dig.
One of those, of course, is social media and right now, it’s a hotbed of emotions and drama fueled by politics, aggression and most importantly, access to information.
I’ve had this conversation with quite a few friends and have come to the conclusion that, despite what many have told us, Facebook isn’t bad when you see it for the tool that it is and appreciate it for just that.
It’s a tool.
Once a way to simply connect us with “real life” friends and family, it has exploded into a tumultuous, daily addiction that has torn more than one family apart and driven more friendships to the brink and even over the edge. But is it Facebook’s doing? No. It’s our own.
I’m not talking about the “invasion of privacy” issues or breaches of data. I’m talking about what Facebook has ACTUALLY done and that is, it has given us in depth snapshots of what drives people, who they really are at their core and what they stand for.
Most people think that the issue today with Facebook is politics. They would like to return to a time when people shared cat memes or pictures of their kids or the great adventure surrounding what they ate that day.
But Facebook isn’t that any more. It’s evolved into a massive network that not only connects you with friends and family around the globe but also puts you in touch with people, their daily lives and cultures around the globe. Whether it’s through news sites, groups or simply individual contact, we have access to a world of information. Sometimes that information is wonderful and soul moving and other times, it can crush your will to live.
And it is here that the rubber meets the road when it comes to social media and “politics,” because it isn’t really politics that has people upset. It’s much deeper than that. It’s who people are at the core of their being. It’s what they stand for, how they treat others and what they believe. Facebook took an experience that would take a good portion of a lifetime to discover and accelerated it beyond anything we probably could have imagined.
In days gone by, it would take a long time to get to know someone. Friendships would form, time would be spent with one another and then that friendship would either continue to grow or it would wane and dissolve. We worked with one another, side by side, and many times, we never got to know one another except through social functions and so the conversations remained light, fairly shallow and never too soul-searching. That was reserved for those closest to you and would take years of time spent in intimate settings (many times over drinks) where you could bear your soul and chip away at the walls that we naturally surround ourselves with.
Now that happens in a fraction of the time on social media. The moment someone has access to your page, they have access to many of the moments that might have previously been reserved for those closest to you; things that before, you may have been apprehensive to share. It only takes a moment for someone to essentially scroll through your life and see who you are at the core of your being and what things matter to you, deeply matter to you; what you like, what you hate, what inspires you, what drives you up the wall, what you’ll tolerate, what you absolutely can’t tolerate, who shares those sentiments with you, what those friends are like and other infinite pieces of who you really are.
And this is where politics comes in. Politics isn’t about the parties AT ALL.
Politics is about what issues matter to you, what things you are willing to overlook, what you stand for unequivocally, who represents those issues for you in our democracy but essentially, it’s about who you are once you get past the surface. And this is when relationships tend to change.
While you can share “surface” stories of your life with anyone and keep your walls in tact, what issues you feel passionate about expose a great deal about your character and sometimes that’s hard to reconcile with considering to continue a friendship/family relationship.
It’s not that it’s bad. It’s a natural attrition but the speed by which it happens these days is what sends us reeling when we “unfriend” or become “unfriended” based on these deeply felt and openly relayed values. When you multiply that by hundreds, if not thousands of “friends” you would otherwise not have in the normal course of a lifetime, it can feel like a daily trainwreck of emotions and dramas playing out right before our eyes.
Time has emboldened us move swiftly and cut through the clatter; ending relationships with literally the click of a button. While some see it as divisive and polarizing, it really isn’t.
We are all different in our own ways. We usually have more things that unite us than divide us yet sometimes that just isn’t enough. We used to only get this clarity of people’s inner workings when we shared our lives with them; our spouses, children and best friends used to be the only ones privy to this degree of sharing and openness. And even in those instances, many times, those relationships would devolve, be strained, and erode to the point where we would have to make decisions whether to keep even those closest to us in our lives or let them go. The more we learn, the more we access. We either grow or stagnate depending on who we are inside. That’s the way all our intimate relationships have proceeded. It’s not new, it’s just that now there is a new way that it’s being done.
So don’t blame Facebook, other social media or politics. You just are who you are. Deep down, below the shallow surface, you are the issues you stand for.
Some people will like it; others won’t but at the end of the day, hopefully, you’ll be more in touch with who you are by the relationships, comments and interactions you have using the tools available to you.
Don’t be afraid to scratch the surface and dig deep. The world is a big place with both wonderful and not-so-wonderful people in it. It’s only when you start to dig deep that you discover where the best treasures can be found. You might hit a rock or two along the way, some more easier to move past or discard than others, but it’s the digging that makes you stronger. Don’t be afraid to dig.